I guess a waning moon just feels a little bit like kin tonight, though. It could very well be the fact that I am really sick with an awful head cold right now or the fact that I'm pretty stressed out with moving on Thursday, but I think this is previous to all of that. I just don't feel like myself lately. The prospect of new adventures don't seem to have any sort of flare right now. Major life upheavals are about to happen and where I should be excited and happy for these opportunities, instead I am apathetic.
I just feel like I'm slowly losing my grip on myself. Is this good or bad? Not sure...
But I know that I'm crabbier than normal.
And I know that I'm less patient with people.
And I definitely know that the sarcasm had taken a bitter tone as of late.
And I definitely know that people are noticing and I hate that they are noticing because, let's face it, I care about what people think about me and I want them to like me and to think I'm an amazing girl.
Oh good gosh. We're back here.
I need to start serving again somewhere immediately. The focus has shifted too much to myself yet again. It's like that's my default mode and I just constantly pick on myself and other people and then have horrible interactions.
Bah. As many times as I've been through this, you'd think that I'd learn to not even let myself get here, but I guess it's all a learning experience and that takes time.
I just don't want to be one of those people that is a burden on other people. I want interactions to be an uplifting experience. But right now, it's just not happening.
And it's probably not a coincidence.
6 days until the internship starts...
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