Well, last week was hell.
I worked 65 hours on top of some volunteer stuff that I love doing, but still sucked a lot from me simply because of the way last week went.
This week started out fantastic--a day trip up to Devil's Lake to buy apples and hike around all day on one of the most beautiful days that we've had so far this fall--but it quickly plummeted into what seemed to be the aftershocks of last week. I wish that my emotions didn't involve my health so much. It's like every time I get incredibly stressed out, I get nauseated and can't handle what's going on because I feel sick on top of it. There's got to be some sort of trick to making that stop. At least I've figured out how to not always act on those emotions. Even if I'm feeling sick, I am learning how to step away from the situation for a bit, get my head on straight and come back to it all. I've never seen more of a discrepancy between the rational and irrational. But at least I see it, which is more than I can say for myself a couple of years ago. I'm sure I'm much more of an enjoyable person to be around now because of it.
I've now begun the thoughts of what I will do when this internship is over. Do I apply at some churches to do the same work I am currently doing? Surely Blackhawk will not be able to hire me on. Does that mean moving far away? Does that mean leaving all of my friends and family? Do I apply for a non-profit in the Madison area? There are some great ones.
I feel like I am starting at square 1. It's not necessarily bad. Just daunting.
Anyway, I have to go into a meeting that I am not necessarily looking forward to. But I think it will be ok.
...as long as I can keep my emotions from getting the better of me.
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