brain vomit

So last night a bunch of us went to see Chris Koza at Cafe Montmartre, which is one of my favorite bars in Madison: Top 3, for sure.  The music was incredible and I was just in this state of complete and utter happiness the whole time I was listening to him.   It just sent me into this swirl of emotion, which I guess isn't too hard too make me do, but this was one of those complex sets where, no matter how much you analyze it, you will never actually be able to come up with accurate words to describe it.  

The night before that, I went and watched the Brewers lose to the Dodgers.  It was painful.

The reason I mention this all is that I've noticed a pattern of doing fun things and not getting my work done, or the things that I feel like my time would be better spent on.  Don't get me wrong, the friendships that are being fostered are greatly diminishing that craving I get every year around this time to meet knew people and put them together like the puzzles they are.  However, these grander things in life that I'm going after, such as my class, are being put on the backburner.  Or are they?  Perhaps I'm just trying to do everything all at once and it's not that these outside things are competing with them, but rather it's them competing with themselves.  Oi...

That brings up another point though...I've recently been thinking about relationships lately.  Friendships, more really.  Here's the thing: Before maybe a month ago, I felt like I hadn't really met anyone new that I'd wanted to "put the puzzle pieces together."  Now that I've met a few people that have intrigued me, I feel like my friendships that I've been forming are progressing really slowly.  A few things on this:

It's a good thing.  I tend to bombard people with ...well...me.  I get to know them really fast.  Whether they like it or not, they get to know me fast.  This causes a friendship like a firework: very brilliant, but it burns out quickly.  I've never been good at the steady campfire types of relationships.  I get impatient.  Maybe it's the phase of life that we're all in currently.  College is really conducive to those really fast, brilliant friendships because your time is malleable.  Innately, at this juncture of life, friendships and relationships in general must progress more slowly by nature because let's face it:  there just isn't enough time to make them move faster if you wanted to.  

But the consequences of this is great to me.  I recently came across a new friend that I've discovered had the same core group of friends all through college.  In fact, I think they even went to high school together.  I've got a few friends like that, I guess, but I can count them on less than one hand.  More often than not, I find myself switching friend groups on a pretty regular basis.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm a crazy extrovert and people is where I get my fix.  Maybe it's the fact that I wear out friendships quickly because I need people.  (But is that necessarily bad?...I'm not convinced it is.  but more on that later.)

I just wonder what it would be like to have that solid group of friends.  I guess you could call it the quality vs. quantity issue.  Not that my friendships aren't of quality, but  I think it definitely takes a certain amount of time (for a normal, healthy relationship, anyway...) to get to a state of homeostasis.  

It's like I need a pace car for friendships.  

More stuff has been happening in my head.  I'll get into that tomorrow or something.  I'm tired now.